This is What Exhaustion Feels Like

 It's 1741 on June 24th 2021. I am beyond exhausted. To the point that I had to take yesterday off, I was so tired I spent the entire day sleeping. Today was a little better, but not much - I made it through work.

I am not alone in feeling over it all - several folks in town feel the same - it's June-itis but with the added bonus of 12+ months of COVID. We are tired, we are over the battling, we are over the lack of resources and understanding.

I came here to heal, to get my balance. I did not foresee Jamie dying. I knew that Death was circling my family, but I thought it would be one of the older family members he took - or several of them. My in-laws, my mother, my step-father - none of them are well. But instead, he took my son. Bastard!

However, this did not slow my healing. If anything, it sped it up - I had to get my head on straight and do it in a hurry. It didn't do a lot for my balance, I am still off-kilter - our kids are meant to outlast us. But healing, oh that has taken off at a rate of knots.

I have at best 2 moves left in me. At best, KNX then - wherever I decide to end up. I may do a 3rd from there, if my stay is short - and the destination I am going to is final. I can't. I just don't have it in me any more.

I want: grass year round. Warm. To be near to the ocean (no more than 2 hours away). To have access to a place where I can take Uncle Arthur for a weekly yummy treat for us both.

The East Kimberley is a magic place. Not in the usual sense that word is used - but in that it has amazing power. The spirits are close, they wield great power. This power can heal or destroy - which is up to the individual. If you show respect, ask permission and are open to being helped, they may choose to help. Or at least, to grant access so you can help yourself.

For me, they did the latter. I am grateful beyond words. But I also know, if I do not use this gift wisely and in a timely fashion, my restlessness will irritate those who helped me, and their wrath is not something I wish to experience... 

To that end, I am thinking a couple of weeks off in November - 2 or 3. Then, in the Christmas/New Year break (the office closes) I will have a serious assessment of what I want, where I think I can find it and how to go about getting there.

Something like this would be nice: