It's Been a Day...

 It really has. My MIL's birthday (79th) and I am not coping.

It's a lot of things - heading into the 9th, 10th and 11th funerals in 11 months, the stress of audit, the stress of new staff with ballsed up paperwork, Mum being sick (lung and brain cancer), my grandson's custody (he got 2 awards at Assembly last week) - we go back to Court in September, a difficult client (cyclic, related to family issues), Troy's birthday coming up next month and Jamie not being around to call me and get me through. It all kicked off hard when I ordered flowers for my MIL yesterday - that really, really gave me a boot.

I think the reality of Jamie being gone is hitting - and hard. I'm not coping at all with that. There is very limited mental health help out here - counsellors are it and for this, they won't cut it. Plus, I know all the steps and all the things to do to get through it. Others need the help more than I do.

I came home early today with my manager's blessing - her thing is that I need to look after me. Take the necessary space, keep my phone on so if anyone needs me, they can reach me. Beyond that, just be kind to myself.

NAIDOC week is next week too - there are a heap of events to attend. Including the Ball, which I am going to for sure.

At the end of the month is the rodeo - and I can't wait! I am going to kick off big time!

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